Emptiness
by OmniaVanitas
Summary: Emptiness is all he can feel now. Sora stares into the mirror, only seeing a black-haired boy smirking back. Yaoi. Sora/Roxas, Vanitas/Ven
1. Prologue

**A/****N**: I just had this sudden urge of wanting to translate my other Chinese SoRoku fanfics into English and post here after I finished playing Re:Coded. This one was actually written like nine months back then when I finished Japanese version of BbS. My mind was so obsessed by Vanitas at the time and I really wanted to write something about him and Sora. Well, the title Emptiness, as you all probably know by now, _Vanitas_ in Latin means "**emptiness**". And Sora's name if written in Japanese Kanji/Chinese Character is the exact same character meaning "emptiness" as well. Technically, Sora and Vanitas have the exact SAME name in Japanese/Chinese. And Nomura did it on purpose! xD Okay, what does it have to do with this story? You'll see and find out. Sorry for the very short prologue. It just takes more time to translate everything into English but I'm working on it. (BTW, I'm also working on "Heartless", the sequel to "Unversed" at the same time. Anyone still remember Unversed? I know I've been away for a while but now I'm back to fanfic writing again. :D )

Again, this is a Shounenai/Yaoi fanfic, Sora x Roxas (and implied Vanitas x Ventus), Sora as the seme (though they won't get to that stage quite yet xD). Don't like don't read.

**Disclaimer**: don't own KH.

* * *

**Emptiness **

**00**

_Hahahahahahah! You pathetic useless waste! You are good for nothing. Nothing you can do!_

_No! I won't let you harm him, not him!_

Sora couldn't keep track how many times he suddenly woke up from such nightmares. He found himself sitting on his own bed once consciousness resumed its position in his brain. He was panting, heavily, clothes soaked in cold sweats. Night breeze coming from the half-opened window next to his bed cooled down him a bit. No, he felt chilly, a chill in his back, running down along his spine. And Sora was not sure whether the chill was either from the night breeze, or was caused by that sick, insane, _psychotic_ laughter that was still echoing around his ears.

That psychotic laughter _was_ his nightmare.

Sora didn't realize he had put one of his hands in front of his chest where the heart was supposed to be until he tried to slow down his abnormally accelerated heartbeats - speeded up due to a fear he couldn't quite explain. But the very next moment his heart just skipped a beat, a sudden sharp pain from where the heart should be attacked him, causing his hand grasping on his chest hard. Nails were digging into flesh, creating little pricking which could hardly be any distraction from the unbearable pain that was throbbing in his chest, in his _heart_.

Fucking shit.

Sora cursed mentally. His body couldn't help but curling into a ball because of the enormous amount of pain.

That fucking bastard! There's no way I'm letting him _out_, letting that _monster_ out! I won't give him a single chance to hurt anyone, to hurt _him_!

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A/N again: well, sorry this is short. Any thoughts anyway? Reviews are always welcomed.


	2. 01

**A/N:** sorry for the short prologue and thank you all for the reviews! I didn't really expect to get reviews since I knew it was really short but you guys are awesome! love you all for the reviews~ 333 oh forgot to mention, this story is not AU and sets in the game universe but not everything's gonna follow the canon for sure. Anyway, here's the a bit longer chapter one. Enjoy :D

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**Emptiness**

**01**

Sora opened his eyes slowly as the early morning sunlight invading the room through the curtains. He blinked his dry eyes couple times, not feeling any refreshed at all from the sleep. But a new day just started. He had to get up and go to school. The noise of his aunt preparing breakfast and the nice smell of food coming from downstairs dragged his mind back to reality from his half-conscious state.

After washing himself up, Sora went downstairs for breakfast, seeing Roxas was already there sitting by the table, like always. The blond had almost finished the food on his plate, like always again.

"Morning, Roxas!" Sora put up his trademark million-volt sunshine grin to greet the blond boy.

"Morning." But all he got back was a cold monotone response, like always.

Pretending as if he didn't notice the cold tone, Sora pulled out and sat down on one of the chairs by the dining table cheerfully as if he's looking forward to the new day and excited about the food, so no one would know how heavily he sighed in his mind.

Roxas, his Other, his Nobody…no, he was no longer his Nobody, now he was known as his brother to the people who lived on this island. That's what Sora told people anyway. Ever since the day Roxas got separated from him and obtained his own very existence, the blond teen had never showed a nice face to him. Roxas was cold to him, to the point that Sora believed even a complete stranger was treated more friendly than him was treated by Roxas. Sora knew Roxas dislike him, a lot. The only reason the blond teen was staying with him was because he was just a normal human boy now. He couldn't go anywhere else. He was stuck in this little prison surrounded by sea water. Roxas lost his ability to use the keyblade after his rebirth. Sora always wondered if he could still use a keyblade and the dark portal, Roxas probably wouldn't hesitate a second to leave him, to leave this island, to go back to the place he wanted to, to find his own new life without Sora. Every time these thoughts came to his mind, Sora would feel his chest getting so heavy that his breath would be impaired. But he shrugged. Or he tried his best to shrug off that bitter feeling. Roxas now had the very right to decide who he wanted to like and who he wanted to hate. He was now his own individual, he was no longer his Nobody, no longer belongs to him.

If it were someone else, Sora always knew how to make that person become his friend within a few seconds. That was his speciality, his charm. Everyone was saying this was his unique ability, that his heart could connect to anyone else's heart. But that 'anyone else' did not include his own Other. Sora found himself even lack the courage to ask what Roxas thought of him or talk to him about these stuffs. He did not want Roxas to hate him, yet he did nothing to change the blonds' mind. He wanted to let Roxas decide everything about his own new life. He had to. If that's the way Roxas decided to treat him, the only thing he could do is to accept his Other's decision. He couldn't 'interfere' with his decision anymore. How could he? He felt he didn't have the right to interfere Roxas's life, not after he regained all the memories of his Nobody's short but miserable tragic past life. He hadn't told anyone yet, that the once lost chains of memories had come back to him already, that he was chained up by those lost dark memories.

Sora knew no one would ever think to use 'coward' as a word to describe his personality. He was always upbeat, always ready to face up any challenge. But Roxas was the only exception. He _was_ a coward in front of Roxas. Communication was basically lacked between them. He didn't dare to initiate one, because he had to be very careful not to let Roxas notice that he knew about his past already, and what's more, he didn't want Roxas himself to recall those terrible memories of his past. All he wanted is Roxas' happiness, even if that meant he had to act like an oblivious silly elder brother whose nerves were too thick to mind of being treated coldly by his own younger brother. He could play this role very well, he knew it.

Who knows he could be such a good actor? Ever after returning to Destiny Island from his third journey, Sora found himself was a genius in acting department. Apparently, he was still the cheerful, carefree, happy-go-lucky boy who always had this radiant sometimes-too-bright smile on his face. That's because Sora knew too well that if one day he didn't wear his trademark smile, everyone would be upset. Of course he didn't want them to be upset, those were his friends and families that he cared too much about. How could he let those he loved so much to worry about him? So of course, he did his best to keep that sunshine smile of his up all the time, so as his optimistic character that he's known for. Even though he knew at school some people name-called him something like naïve dork, braindead innocent fool or whatever, he couldn't give a shit. As long as his friends were happy, like he cared what the others decided to call him. Yeah, like he cared.

No one knew who he really was now. Not even Riku and Kairi knew this. The real Sora was already _corrupted_ after the third journey.

* * *

"Aunty, I'm leaving now." The voice of Roxas saying goodbye to their aunt brought Sora's lost mind back to the real world again.

"Oh, wait Roxie! I'm leaving with you!" The brunet teen stuffed his mouth with a piece of toast, quickly grabbing his messenger bag, trying to catch up with his 'brother' who already walked out the front door. They were brothers now. It's just nature they went to school together, right? No matter how bad Roxas treated him, he had to play his family role well, right?

* * *

_**Heheheheh…**_

Here came the sick creepy laughter again that made his scalp tingling every time he heard it.

_**What a boring day, don't you agree Sora?**_

_Fuck off!_

_**Oh my, why in such **__**a sore mood? Someone pissed my dear Sora?**_

_Right, it's YOU! Bastard!_

_**Hahahah! Oh Sora Sora Sora, you know you could be such a dishonest spoiled **__**brat sometimes? Why don't you just admit it?**_

_Admit the fuck!_

Sora gnashed his teeth in anger, throwing curses towards the direction where the other voice was coming from. All he got back though was a sudden burst of spastic laughter that would make anybody shiver upon hearing it.

A raven-haired male slowly showed himself up from a cloud of dark aura. A pair of icy piercing golden eyes stared at Sora with a playful sadistic glisten in them.

Not wanting to show any weakness, Sora glared daggers back to the dark enigma, who had the exact _same_ face of his, the exact _same_ voice of his.

Everything about them was. the. _same_.

Expect that 'his' hair was in a color of black that was darker than darkness itself, and 'his' eyes were in a color of golden that was even colder and crueller than any kind of Heartless, and 'his' twisted insane laughter surly surpassed any psycho in this world.

Sometimes Sora found he couldn't suppress the excitement when he was wondering what would happen if his friends got to hear 'his' laugh. What their reaction would be? Must be priceless 'coz no one would ever think the voice of 'Sora' could sound so psychotic right? Hahah…

_**See, you are enjoying the every bit of it.**_

The dark male shrugged, his lips curling into a sarcastic smirk, mocking his Other.

_Vanitas!_

Not realizing his own lips had curled into a same cruel smirk, the only thing Sora could feel at the moment was the excitement, the very desire of fighting that every cell of his body was screaming and craving for. With a flash of silver light, a giant key-shaped weapon materialized in his hand.

_Go to Hell, Vanitas!_

_

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**A/N again**: so, what you think? Please review so chapter 2 would be updated faster xD.


	3. 02

**A/N**: Sorry for the long waiting. My medical condition wasn't too good recently and I was taking some time off last month for the treatment. Anyway. Thank you all who reviewed and fav'd this story, I promise I'll keep this story going. And I also want to specially thank XNobodyXSomebodyX for giving me so much support during my illness!

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**Emptiness**

**02**

"Roxas, do you know where Sora is now?"

The silver-haired Student Council president called the blond boy's name and stopped him in the hallway. It seemed like he was looking for Sora for some rather important things.

"How should I know?"

Shrugged, the blond teen replied coldly, as if the asked person wasn't his "brother" but just a total stranger who had nothing to do with him. Riku scowled at his answer, but then the older teen just walked away without saying anything in return.

_Hmph. Arrogant ass_.

He didn't like Riku. No, he loathed that guy. That guy had taken away too much from him. Xion…his promise with Xion…his memory, the only thing that truly "belonged" to himself…and, his _freedom_.

Riku had destroyed everything of his and he did that all for Sora.

Sora.

He didn't like Sora either. No, he _hated_ Sora. Even at the time he was still a so-called Nobody who was supposed to have no feelings, he just knew he hated Sora, extremely hated him, even though they said he didn't "have" a heart.

Sora.

He hated Sora.

Everything was because of _him_. Everything. His grief, Xion's grief, Namine's grief. If it was not due to Sora's very existence, none of them would have existed, none of their pain and sorrow would have existed.

Only if Sora had not been an overly kind-hearted idiot who would sacrifice himself for others without a slightest hesitation…

Only if Sora had not stabbed his own chest with that heart-unlocking keyblade to save someone who trapped in his heart…

Only if Sora had not shared his new-born heart with some stranger whose heart was shattered…

None of their tragedies would have happened!

He hated Sora.

Among all the people in this universe, no one other than Sora would make him feel so much hatred.

Roxas unconsciously bit his lower lip, tightening his fists. After the silver-haired president disappeared from his sight, he turned around, walking towards the opposite direction where Riku went, walking towards the small garden yard located behind the school building.

Usually kids wouldn't come to this small yard during the lunch break. Roxas kept walking towards the tall cherry tree at the corner.

A brunet boy was sleeping under that tree. He was sitting under the tree shade, his back leaning against the trunk, his cerulean eyes were now tightly closed, his eyebrows were frowning. It didn't look like he's having a good dream.

Roxas always knew. He knew that Sora would come to this place alone during the lunch break to avoid everyone else, to take his little nap. Roxas was quietly watching the sleeping brunet teen, couldn't help but recall the memory when he first met the real him. In that flower-like white pot, there was a peacefully sleeping boy…

However things have changed. The innocence he had seen on that young sleeping face at that time, has completely gone now.

Roxas didn't loose his tight fists. He felt the impulse again to wake the brunet boy by punching him on the face. But he didn't do that, just like every other time. Every time in the end he was just quietly standing here, quietly watching his Other's sleeping face.

Sora's frown turned deeper. His face became twisted as if he was suffering from pains.

_Sora, what kind of dream are you having right now?_

The blond boy asked him in a whisper.

* * *

Huff. Huff. Huff.

The young keyblade hero was panting heavily, forehead covered with sweats. He was too worn out that he had to use his keyblade pushing against the floor of the Awakening Station to support his own weight.

Too strong. This guy was fucking too strong. The bastard was probably _the_ toughest among all the enemies he had ever encountered. Xehanort's Heartless and Xemnas, even Sephiroth, they were just a bunch of jokes compared to this psycho.

_**Heeheehee…not bad Sora, not bad at all. You seem have improved **__**a lot than last time.**_

The black-haired male didn't stop mocking him, even though himself's situation was no better than his. Half of his body has turned back into thick dark aura, his keyblade Void Gear was slowly fading into dark lights too. But he was still mocking him, still wearing that sick annoying shit-eating grin on his face. The cruel glister in his icy golden eyes was infectious to Sora, still exciting him, making him feel even more bloodthirsty.

Just like the intense battle they just had was merely a warm-up. His craving, his desire of fighting didn't withdraw a bit but grew even stronger and stronger. Maybe Vanitas was right after all. Maybe he was indeed 'enjoying the every bit of it'…?

_No! Vanitas! You're the one put that thought in my head, but don't you dare to control my heart!_

_**Hahahah! Don't be silly Sora. Your heart?**__** That cheap, inferior, broken little heart of yours holds no meaning to me. **_

The pupils of Vanitas' golden eyes suddenly contracted into thin lines like feline. As if he knew what the dark male was going to say next, Sora immediately felt himself engulfed by fear and panic.

_**You know **__**it just as well as I do, there is only ONE thing that I want from you. **_

* * *

"Ah!"

Roxas almost jumped in surprise when Sora suddenly opened his cerulean eyes, not expecting him to wake up so soon, unlike the usual case.

Cerulean eyes blinked couple time as they met another pair of identical azure eyes. Within a next second, Sora suddenly reached out and grabbed Roxas's wrist, making the blond yelp in reflex, "Let go off me Sora!"

"Roxas? Is it really you? How'd you know I'm here?" Finally regained his clear mind, Sora immediately released his grasp when he realized that he was holding the other boy's hand. "Err, oops, sorry, I didn't mean it." He tried to put on some idiotic laugh to ease the embarrassment.

The blond didn't say anything, he just scowled, then turned on his heel.

"Roxas…" Sora remained still, simply watching the blond walking away, he didn't understand why he still called his name. It's meaningless.

"Riku is looking for you." The blond teen didn't stop upon Sora's calling. He just left that one sentence before he completely disappeared from Sora's sight.

Sora scratched the back of his head couple times, trying to get Roxas's last sentence. His lips finally curled into a small weak smile. He got up and dusted himself off, then started heading to the school building.

What he didn't know was that, the other boy who was walking towards the same direction had lost in his own thoughts.

Roxas couldn't help but wonder, what was that golden glister he saw in Sora's eyes at the moment the brunet boy opened his eyes.

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**A/N**: Well, I have to say Roxie is not an ass, he's just being a bit emo and has some problems he need to figure out first. If you catch the drift in the first part of this chapter, you know he actually does care about Sora right? xD Any comments?


	4. 03

**A/N**: Happy New Year, everyone! Thank you all for fav'ing and reviewing this story =) This chapter is a bit shorter though quite important. I wrote this when I was listening to the BGM of Vanitas Final Battle. That is one most amazing piece of music from Yoko Shimomura imo. Basically the dark twisted version of Sora theme in that BGM was what inspired this chapter (and this whole story in some sense). I'm glad the OST of BbS/Re:Coded/358Days will be out on Feb 2nd in Japan so finally I'll get to know what the name of that BGM is, for now I just called it Vanitas Theme. xD According to the official OST website, the fast version of that music is known already as "Enter the Darkness" (that's the BGM when you first battle Vanitas in the KB graveyard). Anyway. Sorry I ramble too much. xD

**Warning:** this chapter contains a bit **sexual content**, though nothing hard-core. (Mmm…so I rise the rating to M just for safe. Also the language is getting a bit colourful…I guess?)

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**Emptiness**

**03**

"…Ahh…Nngh…

"….No, please…no…

"…S-stop…Ah! …"

_Damnit! This is...this feels so__ damn good!_

The blonde boy was pinned by him against the pure-white sheets. The usually-pale skin was now tainted with a seductive pink. His pretty face was so lost in lust, half-lid cerulean eyes misted by tears. There was no Light in those vulnerable eyes, only dull blue, but still beautiful, only now tainted with the Darkness named desire and lust. Pants and moans were coming from his already bruised lips, driving _him_ crazy.

So vulnerable, so fragile…the blonde boy whimpering and writhing underneath him was truly fragile, like a broken doll. Oh yes, only if he applied a bit more force, he would break for sure, just like a doll. _His _doll.

This thought excited him _more_.

He bit on the blonde's lips hard, then devoured them, swallowing any painful moans leaking from those lips. He invaded the boy's mouth with no mercy, tongues attacking every corner of the boy's cavern, taking away every breath from him. Oh _he_ just so loved kissing his doll like this, well, if it could be called "kissing." _He_ simply loved the taste of his blonde's lips, attacking those lips itself was enough to make his cock twitched in pain.

"…Ungh!.."

This beautiful doll belonged to him. _His_ doll. This helpless doll had no power to resist him, but was still trying to struggle underneath him. He knew it was no use. _He_ knew it too. He is all _his_.

"If you want it, beg me."

Sora heard his own voice as he spoke, almost unrecognizable due to the dark tone, so dark, so cruel, and so sexy…

"Pl-Please…"

The blonde boy was too lost in this sinful lust, begging him with broken whispers. His legs were wrapping around his waist even tighter. He lifted his own hips higher, cheeks slowly rubbing his burning cock, as if to let his rock-hard thing to find the entrance more easily.

Sora felt like his heart beat almost stop at the moment.

"…P-please, give me…[-]…"

"Say my name."

"….[-]…"

Sora could only see the lips of the blonde boy open and close, they almost shaped a name, but Sora suddenly couldn't hear anything as if he lost all his hearing. A sudden smothering **fear** made him want to scream like a manic –

_**Damnit, Roxas! Just say my name!**_

"…[Va]…"

No…

"…[Va..ni]…"

No, no…

"…[Vanitas]…"

No, No, NO!

The moment the blonde boy opened his eyes, Sora saw his own reflection in those light-less dull cerulean eyes –

Black hair.  
Golden eyes.

The cruel smirk curling on his own lips made all his blood freeze.

* * *

A brunet teen was sitting on the huge glass pillar standing out from the endless Darkness. Hugging his own knees to his chest, his cerulean eyes were hiding behind the brown bangs, hiding away any unseen emotions.

_Fuck you Vanitas!_

_Just FUCKING damn you!_

_**Hmph. So, my dear little Sora-boy, like my generous gift huh?**_

… …

_**Why yelling at me? Your heart told me you've enjoyed this A LOT, haven't you? You know you love this. Thinking 'him' as your dearly beloved Roxas.**__** Can you indeed deny yourself from loving it? **_

…_What do you want? What the fuck do you want from me?_

_**Oh my. So that sweet little wet dream truly turned **__**you on, huh? You are sooo worked up, aren't you, Sora-boy?**_

_Shut up!_

_**Why.**__** I'm just sharing my memories with you. Oh pardon me, you were already 'there' at the time. That makes it OUR memories. Just…**_

As if he remembered something, the raven-haired male suddenly burst into twisted laughter.

_**Just **__**how old were you back then? Like one? Or two?**_

_... …_

_Vanitas, you perverted, sick, twisted, fucked-up psycho!_

_**Hahahah! Thanks. And you should also thank me for **__**letting you recall such sweet memories. Just look at yourself Sora-boy. You so want to fuck that Nobody of yours, but all you do is denying and dreaming. Tsk, tsk, tsk, my little Sora is such a dishonest foolish boy, all you're doing is using OUR sweet memories to fulfil YOUR own sexual fantasy.**_

_Shut up! I'm not a pervert like you! I, Roxas, I just…_

_**You just want to fuck him.**_

_No!_

_**No what? Oh Sora, I'm getting tired of your little denying game. If you don't have the ball**__**s to take him, to fuck him senseless, how about you let **__**I**__** do it for you**__**?**_

… …

… … …

_No, Vanitas, I want to fuck YOU._

The dark male's mind blanked briefly upon hearing the answer from the brown-haired keyblade-hero, but soon burst into spastic laughter again.

_**Ahahahahhh! Sora, Sora, Sora, I'm so loving you now. Only if my Light wasn't Ventus but you, we together would have made a perfect X**__**-blade!**_

… …

_**What**__** do you say? How about you taking my offer? If you like, together WE can take over the Kingdom Hearts, make it OURS. Together we can overthrow this fucking boring world, reset everything, and make OUR own new world. Aren't you thrilled by the fun and excitement of this? Hahahah..!**_

_Vanitas, listen._

A calm voice broke through the dark male's maniac laugh, too calm for Vanitas' liking. The brunet keyblade-wielder suddenly stood up, walking directly towards the raven-haired male. Pressing his own left chest firmly with his right hand, Sora looked steadily into the pair of crazy gold eyes whose owner was laughing maniacally.

_You know what, Vanitas. __You are just as pathetic as me. You are trapped 'here,' remember? You can't go anywhere. You can't do anything._

The brunet boy's lips curved into a sly smile, continued with the same dark and cold voice:

'_This' is where you belong__, Vanitas. So just shut up and quietly stay here._

_

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_

**A/N again**: So, Sora's dark secret gets revealed! And if you got a bit confused, the first part of this chapter was not only Sora's fantasy about Roxas, but was also what happened b/w Vani and Ven years ago before Ven was sent to Eraqus. Sora was seeing those old 'memories' through Vani's eyes in his dreams. The feelings are actually a mix of both Sora and Vani's feelings. (Vani just wants to mess with Sora. xD)

And what happened b/w Vani and Ven? xD Well, I don't need to say more about it right? In the game Master Xehanort wrote in his report that raising both Ventus and Vanitas at the same time ended up to be impossible because Vanitas was "corrupting" Ventus so badly, to the point that Ventus's light would completely faded out if the two boys continue to stay together (so MX then sent Ven to Eraqus place). And this is how I interpret the "corrupting" thing…XD Like:

**MX:** Vanitas you little pervert! How many times do I have to tell you? He's not your sex toy! You're breaking him! His light is fading away!

**Vani**: Whatever.

**MX**: No, I'm sending Ventus away before it's too late for X-blade's sake.

Review and comment?


	5. 04

**A/N**: Two chapters updated in one day. Anyone giving me a cookie for this? xD Also thank you so much for the beta'ing Izzy!

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**Emptiness**

**04**

Sora was acting weird lately.

Sitting in the classroom and so bored by the teacher's lecturing, Roxas mindlessly stared the blue sky outside the classroom window. The clear sky of Destiny Island was crystal blue as always, which reminded him of a certain brunet teen who was named after the sky.

Sora was definitely behaving strangely these days. And he was not the only one who thought so. The brunet's two best friends also have noticed something was just not right about him. Something was unusual. The most unusual thing for Roxas though, was that Sora stopped insisting to go to school and go home with him together, like he suddenly started to avoid Roxas on purpose. Sora would leave home for school only after Roxas has left. Roxas has heard a few times already that the brunet teen was scolded by the teachers for being late for school. And Sora would disappear like magic immediately after school as well. Even though they were living under the same roof, Roxas found it was getting harder and harder to see Sora nowadays.

Before this, no matter how coldly Roxas treated him, Sora would always act like a silly unmindful brother who would constantly stay by his side checking on if he needed anything. But whenever Roxas showed a single sign of annoyance, he would stop bugging him at once and peace out. So thinking about it now, Sora never really 'interfered' with his new life despite the fact he _had been_ his Somebody. He seemed to have given him enough, if not too much, personal space and…freedom?

However, Roxas only felt empty. The way Sora had been acting like a concerned brother when he was around him seemed to be all shallow and superficial. Right. Have Sora just been acting out his brother role? What was this 'emptiness' he felt from Sora despite the fact the brunet had always been smiling? Was this void freedom Sora gave him really what he wanted?

Letting out a small sigh, Roxas found himself seeming to start missing that noisy cheerful voice and that bright idiot-like grin _a lot_.

Roxas was lightly tapping his temple with his finger tip, trying to sort out his own mind. Yes, he hated Sora, but he hated the not-Sora-like Sora even more.

Sora was not the happy Sora anymore. No, he was not happy at all.

Ever since he was separated from Sora becoming his own individual, he no longer could 'feel' Sora's heart like before. Even though, he could still sense that something from Sora was now gone, something important was missing. But the connection between their hearts was now cut off, _broken_, he couldn't see through those deep sky-blue eyes anymore, he couldn't see through Sora's heart anymore. He couldn't? Or, he just didn't want to?

Roxas couldn't tell, he just felt his heart was aching, from some unknown emotion. He **felt** pains in his heart. **His** heart. The heart Sora had given to him.

Roxas made a decision in that classroom. He wanted to talk to Sora. He had to talk to Sora about this.

During the lunch break that day, Roxas went to the small garden yard again, looking for the brunet teen under the cherry tree, but only found Sora was not there. Heading back disappointedly, he was unexpected to see a familiar figure in the hallway chatting with two other students from the blitz ball team. He stopped at once.

What he saw stunned him.

* * *

Sora felt exhausted.

He was worn out. He couldn't suppress a selfish thought wishing himself could sleep forever, not to wake up ever again. But he was afraid of sleeping at the same time. As soon as he shifted into his dreamland, _he_ would come to him, the nightmares would all come to him, the dark desires either he wanted to deny or admit would all come to him, **torturing** him endlessly.

Vanitas – the monster awakened by the darkness of his heart. **His** negative emotions. **His** negativity.

Every day, every day, he had to fight against this _monster_ in his Station of Awakening, keyblades slashing each other. He had to keep himself up to the battles. He had to do his best not letting _him_ to wrest control of his heart from him. For the sake of his friends and family, for the sake of all worlds in this universe, how could he allow himself to lose to _him_?

_**That's just bull. You know these aren't the real reasons**__**, you self-deceiving little fool. **_

He could hear _his_ mocking again, his own sadistic voice haunting his mind.

Sora felt so tired. He felt he might reach his limit very soon.

* * *

Skipping the lunch again, Sora was planning to go to the cherry tree to take his nap as usual. He barely had any sound sleep as Vanitas was torturing him last night again. Lately the black-haired pervert decided to fill his dreams with tons of perverted scenes, making him have to get up in the middle of night to clean up all the mess in his boxers. Then he spent the rest of the sleepless night in deep guilt and frustration. Those wild wet dreams… they were getting more and more insane. They were no longer mere flashbacks from Vanitas's memory…He was so consumed by the guilty feelings created by those forbidden thoughts, but his mind wouldn't stop going back to those dreams, or nightmares as he would like to call them, he couldn't stop thinking back how Roxas was squirming underneath him…

_Damn__it! STOP thinking like that Sora!_

"Yo, Sora! What's up man?"

Thankfully another cheerful voice helped to drag his mind back to reality from the dirty fantasy.

"Yo, Tidus! Wakka!" He immediately flashed a shining trademark grin back to his friends since childhood.

"Whoa Sora! When did you do your hair like that?" The tanned blonde boy named Tidus was pointing at his head, asking excitedly like he just found a whole new continent.

"Huh? What're you talking about?" Confused, Sora had no clue where his friend came up with that question.

"Your hair dude, your hair. When did you dye your hair black? It looks freaking coooooool!"

Tidus chuckled at Sora's confused look, patting his friend's shoulder cheerfully, not knowing that what his cheerful voice had just said completely froze Sora inside.

_Black hair…?  
BLACK hair? !  
_

"…Oh you mean this. Just wanna change my style once a while. What, you blinded by my hotness now?" Hiding away his own shock, Sora quickly picked up his mask again. He made a show-off pose jokingly, causing both of his friends start laughing.

"No kidding brudda! Ya do look awesome with black hair." The elder teen Wakka also made his honest compliment.

Joining his friends, Sora laughed back, but inside him, he just wanted to scream his lung out like a maniac.

_**Humph humph humph humph…**__** …**_

_His_ sick twisted low laughter started echoing around his ears, again.

* * *

**A/N again**: Mmmmm…anyone wanna guess what would happen next? xD Should I just let Sora rape Roxas or should I not? Oh well, just kidding. xD

Reviews? (only one review for chapter 03 so far, I'm sad T_T. I thought I made the last chapter pretty hot but guess I failed? orz)


	6. 05

**A/N: **Well, this chapter is a bit depressing…but was needed to explain why Sora is behaving the way he was in this fic and where Vanitas comes from. Again, thanks to Izzy who helped me a lot with the language stuff!

* * *

**Emptiness**

**05**

Sora was sitting on the bent trunk of the Paopu tree on the small isle, watching the crimson sun slowly sink into the ocean.

He didn't remember when the last time he visited this small play island was. It's been a long while probably. Somehow he felt the urge of coming here today. He tried to avoid anyone, everyone, after school ended, he found his long-untouched little boat and came to this island, all _alone_. Sora felt somehow his heart finally obtained a moment of peace, when he sat on the old spot on the bent tree where he used to sit with his friends, staring at the soft twilight sun over the other side of the ocean.

The serenity was indeed momentary. The all-too-familiar scene soon reminded him of "that time," the time when he made his resolution to set out on a third journey. He was sitting at the same spot like now, staring at the same twilight, holding a drift bottle and a letter from King Mickey in his hands.

"It's just…they really need me. I have to go. They are waiting for me. I have to help _**all**_ of those whose hearts are connected to me." (1)

He smiled bitterly at the memory of his own words, at his naivety and over-confidence back then. The young Sora had thought he could set things right, he could bring _**all**_ of them back, he could cease their sorrow and grief, he could grant them their re-birth by sleep and their new beginnings, he had thought he could…But no, in the end, he _couldn't_. He had just been too naïve at the time, not knowing how cruel Fate truly was. He hadn't expected that his third journey would completely change him.

As he continued his thoughts, overwhelming pain and sadness flooded over his heart.

He was just a fifteen-year-old boy back then. He was not the real Savior. He wasn't able to save _everyone_! The reality was never like those Disney worlds full of honey and sugar and rainbow. Everyone living happily ever after only existed in fairy tales. That type of 'ending' had been his goal he had fought so hard for. He had fought all he could in order to bring back the happy smiles to _all_ of them. But he just failed. In the end, he failed to rescue everyone whose hearts tied to his heart. In the end, he failed to erase all _their_ sorrow and sadness.

Maybe it was simply out of his hands at the first place. But then who gave him the false hope to start with?

Their fates were all tangled together. There was no simple solution to this. He had to **choose**. To gain was to lose, to lose was to gain. Perfect endings simply did not exist. He had to make choices on what he would sacrifice for what he wanted to get back. Even though he managed to bring Aqua back from the Realm of Darkness in one piece, he disappointed her by not being able to wake up the blonde keyblade apprentice sleeping in the Chamber of Waking. He lost the ability to wake Ventus up, because he had already given part of his own heart to his Nobody in order for him to exist again.

Roxas and Ventus.  
He had chosen Roxas.

Fate was a son of bitch. The 'existence' of the two, he could only choose one. Though Sora never regretted over his choice, it did hurt him so bad when he saw the despair and deep sorrow in Aqua's beautiful eyes. That was when he clearly realized how powerless he indeed was against the so-called Fate. Even though Aqua never blamed him, he knew he was just a selfish human being in the end, he was indeed not what his friends expected from him. He had chosen **his** own Nobody over some stranger he barely knew. After the lost chains of memories returned to him, he desperately wanted to give Roxas another chance to live his own life. The truth was that he couldn't have Roxas off his mind ever since the day they met in the World That Never Was. He could never forget that faint smile of his and the sadness in that pair of identical sapphire eyes he saw on that day. As crazy as it sounded, Sora fell so hard for his own Nobody ever since that day. He wanted to do anything he could for his Nobody. All he wanted was Roxas's happiness. Was this too much to ask? Yes it was. Although deep in his heart he knew Ventus was supposed to be the rightful choice. He wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice himself if it was needed for Ventus's waking, but he simply could not sacrifice Roxas _**again**_ for anything. He simply couldn't. So instead, he had made a selfish choice for once.

And it was not just Ventus he didn't manage to bring back.

Namine, Xion, Terra…In the end, those who belonged to the memories stayed still in his memories, those who were lost so deep in the darkness were lost for eternity. Not even Ansem's research that was hid in his body could help save them (2). This time, he failed to keep his promises.

"If you let the sadness consume your heart, you would fall into the Darkness." (3)

He knew. Of course he knew. But it was not only the sadness, after what he had been going through on his third journey, he found himself unable to suppress all the **negative emotions** swirling in his heart anymore - sorrow, guilt, anger, hatred, confusion, frustration, despair…

And here _he_ came, awakened by all of his negativity.

Vanitas…was he really the darkness from Ventus? Or, was he in fact **his own darkness**?

_Vanitas vanitatum, omnia vanitas_. (4)

All of his swirling negative emotions eventually converged into the endless void, pulling his heart down to the deepest, darkest, **emptiness**.

* * *

"Sora."

That was his best friend's voice calling his name from behind. Sora didn't find himself surprised that the silver-haired teen was able to find him here today, after all the elder teen has been trying to catch him to talk for the past few days. Sora did not turn his head back to his friend immediately upon the calling. He felt he needed a bit more time to put his smiling mask back on today for some reason.

He knew his friends were worrying about him, but he simply did not want to confront their concerned and questioning eyes. He just wanted to run away from them, wanted to escape from all their questions. Sora believed it must be Vanitas who put these thoughts into his head. _He_ knew that his friends were his power. If he lost all his friends, he would just be a powerless, useless brat; good for nothing. It must be Vanitas's plan, trying to cut off all his bonds to the others.

"Hi, Riku."

Sora finally greeted back. Whatever. He gave up. This was his best friend since childhood. He could at least forget about his mask for a moment in front of this person, or could he?

"Sora, do you want to talk? You seem to not be acting like yourself lately. Kairi and I are worried about you. Did anything happen?" The silver-haired teen reached out with a friendly hand offering help.

"No, it's nothing. Thanks, but I'm fine."  
Sora only turned down that helping hand.

"It's just I'm feeling a bit tired. You know, _that_ trip was exhausting. Guess I just haven't fully recovered from it yet. But it's no big deal, don't worry."

Riku frowned. The once crystal-like sky-blue eyes became too deep for him to see through now. The emotionless voice, the Sora who was not smiling, all too strange and distant to him.

"Sora, this is not like you at all. Something must have happened. You aren't being yourself." The silver-haired boy didn't know his worried words only triggered a switch inside his best friend.

"Okay fine, then you tell me HOW should I be like? Only because I'm not acting like the Sora you guys think I should be, so I am not _me_ anymore?"

Sora snapped before he even realized. His frustrated shouts stunned both his best friend and himself.

_Fuck it!  
_Sora tightened his fist. It was not him. It must be Vanitas who made him snap!

_**Nope, boy, you know the truth, it's not me~**_

"I'm sorry Riku, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you, I just…" Couldn't find the right words, Sora habitually scratched the back of his head, which immediately reminded him of one thing – his hair. They said his hair was now _**black**_.

"Sora," his friend's frown deepened, "Are you falling into the Darkness?"

"No. I don't think so."

Oh right, he almost forgot, the elder teen he was facing right now had more experience of confronting and dealing with the Darkness than himself. He must have noticed. Sora felt more fidgety now at the thought. He didn't want Riku to notice Vanitas's existence, in fact he didn't want _anyone_ know that Vanitas exists, not at all. Okay, it must be Vanitas again who made him think this way.

_**Blaming me**__** on everything again? Tsk, how convenient for you.**_

"…Sora, you know you can tell us anything. Whatever problem is bothering you, why not tell us? You know you'll easily get lost if you face everything on your own–alone. We are here to share your burden. That's what you told me before, remember?" The silver-haired teen tried once more.

_Tell you what's my problem__? What should I tell you then? Tell you that I want to take over the Kingdom Hearts, to destroy this fucking meaningless world? Or, to tell you that I so fucking want to fuck my own Nobody? Ha! Like the fuck I will!_

Sora mentally laughed at this ridiculous self of his.

"Hey Riku, I can handle this, okay? You just worry too much about me. I'm not a kid anymore, Daddy. Who do you think I am anyway? I, the mighty Keyblade Hero Sora, would allow myself fall into the Darkness? No way in hell! Hee Hee~"

Outside, Sora grinned like his old bright self once again, assuring his friend with playful words. It looked like he shouldn't let his mask down even in front of this person.

Knowing too well his friend was a stubborn one, Riku sighed lightly, "Well then Sora, I'll leave it to you this time. But just you know, I'll always be here to listen whenever you decide to talk about your problem, okay?"

"Thanks buddy."

But these things are different, even if it's you, I still can't let myself to tell you these things.  
Even though this burden is getting too much already, it is **my** burden I have to live with, after all.

There was only one person he wanted to tell everything to. Sora smiled bitterly as a certain blonde figure come to his mind.

He wanted to tell _him _everything. But he just couldn't.

* * *

**A/N**** again: **

(1) That's what Sora said in BbS secret movie "Blank Points." I find it's interesting that the meaning of his words is translated almost completely differently in English version of the game than the Japanese one. So I actually combined what he said in both English and Japanese game. The first half is taken directly from the English one, and the second half I translated in my own way based the original Japanese game. (I almost cried when seeing Sora say those words with a bright smile on his face. This kid is just too kind, caring too much for the others while not care if himself will get hurt badly. Sora you stupid little fool T_T)

(2) This is also mentioned in "Blank Points." Nomura has said in Ultimania that Ansem's research would become a "key" for rescuing those who Sora wants to rescue in KH3 – yes that's right, Nomuran made it clear in Re:Coded Ultimania that KH3 is going to be about how Sora save those sad souls as mentioned in Blank Points and the end of Re:Coded. Despite the fact that in my fic I pictured the worst case scenario for what could be happening in KH3 and how the negative outcome might affect Sora's mentality, I personally believe that in the actual game Sora will NOT fail on his 3rd mission. Yes, he will bring them all back!...At least this is what I'm hoping. I, indeed, was crying like Aqua did in the secret movie when watching it. Now Nomura gave us hope, he'd better keep his words for real! xD

(3) This is Data-Roxas's line from Coded/Re:Coded. BTW, I heard Re:Coded will be out on Jan the 11th in North America. It's a great game definitely worth buying. Don't miss it!

(4) It means "_vanity of vanities_, everything is vanity" in Latin, from _Ecclesiastes_ 1:2. (now you see where my penname came from xD)

And last but not least, if you are not confused enough yet, just let me tell you this, as you can see from this chapter, the Vanitas in this fic is not the exact Vanitas you see from BbS per se, if you catch my drift xD.

Reviews and comments?


	7. 06

**Emptiness**

**06**

Roxas was on his way home after school ended. He lost in his own thought over what he saw during the day. Unbeknownst to him, Sora had dyed his hair black. Why would he do that? For some strange reason, he had this uneasy feeling when he saw the now-raven teen. It was like some kind of déjà vu. Somehow the black-haired Sora…scared him a bit. That was very strange. Why would he be scared? And why suddenly Sora felt so foreign to him?

Roxas frowned. That unusual upset feeling was bothering him. What on the earth happened to Sora?

"Hi Roxas." His thought was interrupted by a female voice. "Can I talk to you for a bit if you don't mind?"

Roxas turned back and saw a red-haired girl who stopped him. He didn't say anything back, just nodded and raised one brow in question.

The red-haired girl Kairi, Namine's Somebody. Roxas looked at her quietly, couldn't help but think about Namine. The redhead was totally the polar opposite of Namine. While the blonde girl in white was all quiet and shy, Kairi was confident, outgoing and upbeat. A perfect match for Sora. It was quite hard to think that this girl was actually Namine's Somebody since they were just too different. But then, people probably also found it hard to believe that Sora was his Somebody either - Roxas thought bitterly.

"So I take it as a yes?" The wine-haired girl put up a bright smile, which caused Roxas uneasily shift his eyes away from the girl. Despite all the difference, she still reminded him of _her_ and it hurt. Thinking of the no-longer existing Nobody only brought back pain.

"What is it?" He asked coldly.

"Well, it's about Sora." The redhead blushed a bit when she mentioned Sora's name. Roxas sighed mentally as the girl paused with an uncharacteristic shyness. It was quite obvious the girl felt for Sora more than a friend, which was something Roxas didn't actually like. Well, not like it's any of his business. He just didn't like the girl overall.

"You know, Sora is acting quite strange lately. I wonder if you know anything about what happened to him."

Again, Roxas shook his head without saying anything, indicating the answer was no.

"Really? But you guys live together. Don't you know anything about him?" The wine-haired girl seemed not buying his answer. Roxas mentally scowled at her question. Her question stirred something deep in his heart that he didn't want confront.

Outside, he shook his head again. He was not sure what he should say to this girl, the girl he disliked.

"Okay then." Kairi let out a disappointed sigh, "Riku said you and Sora aren't getting along very well. I guess he is right." She murmured to herself, then realized Roxas could hear her clearly. "Oh I'm sorry. I mean…"

"It's okay." Roxas interrupted her. "If you don't have anything else to ask, I gotta go now." He didn't wait for the girl to response and turned on his heel right away, continuing his walk home.

"Wait Roxas! Aren't you worried about Sora?" The wine-haired girl questioned him from the back, "Isn't Sora your Other? Why you seem to not care about him at all?"

"…He's got enough friends to worry about him." The blond muttered, not caring if the redhead could hear his voice. It was an answer more to himself than to her. Sora was surrounded by so many caring friends. He didn't need the care from a Nobody like him.

When Roxas got home, the house was empty. Sora was not home yet.

* * *

It was completely dark outside now. Roxas was staring at the textbook in front of him, chewing his pen absent-mindedly. He was supposed to read this whole chapter for homework, but nothing got into his head over the past couple hours.

He was at home all by himself. Their aunt was not coming over today. He heated up the leftover food from yesterday for dinner, ate alone. Sora's parents have moved to a big city in mainland because of work. But Sora insisted he would stay on the island until he finished high school. So he didn't move with them. Usually it was their aunt who lived the next house that would come and cook meals for them. Yet she's got her own life and couldn't take care of them all the time. Fortunately, Roxas has been an independent kid ever since his age in the Organization. And as for Sora, two three years of travelling throughout the worlds were quite a learning experience. Sora also could take good care of himself despite his young and immature looking.

Roxas felt a bit anxious. He was the only one in the large empty house at the moment. It was very untypical for Sora not coming back home this late. Especially at this late hour in the night. As far as Roxas could remember, Sora always got home before it got dark. He never stayed outside till this late.

Is he worrying about him? Roxas laughed at himself. The brunet teen was a hero chosen by the mighty Keyblade. He was the guy who brought down the whole Organization and saved the worlds many times. If something ever happened, shouldn't he be more concerned about the fate of whoever that was unfortunate enough to be Sora's opponent?

Roxas was subconsciously tapping his fingers against the desk surface. One end of his pen was almost chewed off. He once again looked over the clock hanging on the wall. It's almost 10. Where the heck is Sora and what the heck is he doing?

Suddenly, there was a sound coming from downstairs. Roxas instantly stood up without thinking, but he stopped himself after realizing his impulsive manner. He suppressed his urge wanting to go downstairs to welcome Sora home. Both hands gripping the edge of the desk firmly, he stood there for a while. He heard the sound of Sora stepping on the stairs and opening the door of the brunet's own room. Then the blond finally sat down, slowly, resuming the previous position of reading a textbook.

"_Aren't you worried about Sora?"_

Roxas couldn't help but have Kairi's question echoing in his mind again and again.

* * *

After Riku left, Sora kept staying at the play island. He immersed himself in the sea water, watching the starry night sky while floating on his back.

He let his whole body surrounded by the cold sea water, washed over by the tide. The sound of the ocean wave was nostalgic. He couldn't remember clearly, but the beautiful night sky was somehow déjà vu.

Closing his eyes, Sora felt like he was falling, falling, falling. He suddenly felt like to drown himself in the sea water. Would it be a bad idea? He violently shook his head, wanting to get rid of the suicidal idea from his head. Such coward idea disgusted himself.

Since when has he become such a coward?

* * *

Sora eventually got home with soaked clothes hanging on his body heavily.

The light in Roxas' room was still on.

Roxas…would he worry about me?

After entering the door, he was welcomed by a cold empty living room. There was leftover food on the table along with a piece of note. He didn't bother to look at what's on the note since he did not feel like to eat at all.

When he set his foot on the first step of the stair, he paused for a second, like he was waiting for something, _someone_. He knew deep in his heart, he still had this small expectation, wishing that a certain someone would come to greet him; after all, he had never been home this late. Yet, not a single sound was heard from the upstairs. Sora smiled bitterly to himself, so much for a silly wish.

* * *

Sora opened the bathroom door, starting to strip the wet school uniform off his body. He took off the sticky shirt, leaving the upper part of his body naked with his trademark crown necklace still hanging on his neck. He turned the water on at the washbasin, feeling the need to splash some cold water on his face to cool his head off before taking a shower.

When he saw the water dripping from the tips of his gravity-defying hair, he felt himself grabbed by a sudden fear.

Everyone was saying his hair was now _**black**_ –

They were just kidding him right? It was just a joke right?

He's got brown hair!

How could it be that his hair turned black?

How could it be that his hair turned into the same color of _**his **_hair?

How could it be?

Holding on the edge of the washbasin, Sora slowly moved his head up to face the mirror in front of him.

He looked into the mirror, only seeing a black-haired boy smirking back.

* * *

**A/N:** I don't know if anyone still remembers this story. My bad for not updating this story in ages. Sorry for another boring chapter where nothing happened but our boys kept being stubborn and denying how they really feel for each other. I promise there will be some actions in the next chapter. Review please? (who want to guess what's gonna happen in the next chapter? xD)


	8. 07

**A/N**: I was supposed to update this chapter two days ago but it got procrastinated, err. Well, this probably will be my last update in a while since I'm gonna get very busy starting next week. I should be back in November, hopefully. But who knows, I tend to want to write more stuffs when I'm under stress (like I am right now XD, I've been updating like crazy in the past two weeks XD).  
And thank you all for the great reviews. It seems these days getting reviews has become harder and harder in this fandom in general (which to be honest is a bit discouraging). So I really appreciate every review I get from my readers. You guys are awesome. You guys made me feel that I haven't yet been abandoned by my readers despite the fact I'm not a good author since I don't update as frequently as I should be.

Err, sorry I rambled too much. Now enjoy the latest chapter of _Emptiness_. Personally I really like this chapter though it was big pain to write. Sorry for the poor English and any errors. Review please?

BTW, this chapter is why this story is rated M…so you are warned.

* * *

**Emptiness**

**07**

Chewing on his pen again, Roxas felt even more agitated. There was definitely something wrong about Sora. Staying out late, dying hair into black, isolating himself from others - all these things were just not what a normal Sora would have done. Roxas had made a decision to talk to Sora during the day today, he should go to ask Sora about what happened, but now he was hesitating, as if something bad would happen if he went to see Sora now. It was like his intuition was warning him, warning him to stay away from Sora. Why? Roxas always had a sharp instinct of avoiding danger. That was what helped him survive through his year in the Organization, survive through countless dangerous missions the Organization had put on him. He always trusted his instinct, but should he listen to it this time too?

The whole house was eerily quite. Roxas almost jumped from his chair when a sudden sharp noise from the bathroom ripped apart the silent air.

It was a sound of glass breaking. The sharp harsh sound almost pierced Roxas' eardrums, causing the hairs on his neck back all stand up on end.

The bathroom? Sora?

Before he even realized himself, his body was on action. Roxas rushed out his own room, racing towards the bathroom, completely forgot about what his instinct told him not to do.

When he rushed into the bathroom, he saw a half-naked Sora standing there, his exposed back facing Roxas while his face was facing towards the mirror, or, what's left of the mirror.

The mirror that was used to be hung on the wall above the washbasin was now shattered into millions of broken pieces, scattering on the bathroom floor. The remaining pieces on the wall were reflecting and multiplying Roxas' stunned expression, as well as an emotionless face that was hidden under the shadows of black bangs.

Sora's right hand was bleeding. Scarlet liquid streamed down along his slim long fingers, dripping onto the floor. The narrow space of the bathroom was soon tainted with the iron smell of blood.

Roxas gasped in surprise.

"Sora, what the heck happened?"

Blood-dripping fingers twitched, the black-haired boy slightly turned his head to the side, but didn't answer the blond teen's question as he remained silent. Roxas couldn't see his expression clearly under those shadow-casting black spikes.

"I'm gonna go get the first aid kit."

The knuckle of Sora's right hand was cut and bleeding. It was Sora who hit and broke the mirror. Being a smart kid as Roxas was, he quickly figured this out. Though he seriously wanted to ask him why, but not now, now he had to help Sora stop bleeding at first.

At the moment he turned on his heels, the raven teen suddenly grabbed his wrist, stopping him from leaving the room.

"Sora?"

Confused by the other's action, Roxas wanted to turn his head, yet again was cut off as a pair of strong arms embraced his body from behind, tightly. Roxas completely froze when he sensed the other teen's warm breath blowing against the crook of his neck.

…_Don't go.  
…I need you._

His murmur was deep and low. Roxas couldn't tell whether he _heard_ it, or the words were indeed entering in his mind directly, echoing in his heart. Sora's voice was so deep, broken, and _sad_, crying for help.

Never had he have such a close physical contact with anybody, Roxas froze at not knowing what to do or how to react. He had never been embraced by anyone like this before, feeling another person's body warmth so close. And he could clearly feel that, Sora was…shaking.

"So..Sora? What are you…? W-why are you…"

Roxas called the other's name again, hoping to get some response from the other teen. But Sora only responded by hugging him even tighter, so tight like a drowning man clenching a life preserver and holding on it for dear life.

Not used to this type of body-to-body contact, Roxas felt rather uneasy. It was way too unusual. Sora's embrace was frightening him.

…_Roxas, I need you.  
…I can't do this alone anymore.  
…Help me.  
…Save me._

Frowning, he was so confused at the words echoing in his mind. This couldn't be Sora. Sora would _never_ sound so weak and helpless. Sora was _never_ weak! He was the hero of Light, a boy who was able to keep shining on his own with the brightest smile on his face even in the worst darkest situation. He even brought Light to the Realm of Darkness! How could he sound so vulnerable and helpless? How could he be asking for help? He was the one who was always helping and saving others, not the other way around. He shouldn't be and couldn't be so broken like this!

Shaking body, burning heat, needing whispers, helpless cries. All was too foreign to Roxas, too foreign and confusing that frightened him.

…_Roxas, save me, I need you.  
…I need you.  
…I need you!_

**I NEED YOU.**

No, it can't be. No, I don't believe it. No, Sora would never ever _need _a Nobody like him!

"No, Sora! Let go of me!"

Roxas started struggling hard, trying desperately to get away from Sora's embrace. This can't be right. This isn't happening. Is Sora trying to mess around with him? Is he just playing some kind of sick joke on him?

Angered for unknown reason, Roxas pushed the black-haired boy away hard. When their bodies separated, he finally got to see the expression on Sora's face.

Cerulean eyes widened, full of disbelief, pain, hurt, and **despair**.

Sora quickly lowered his head, backing up couple steps. His bare feet stepped onto the broken glass, yet he seemed not noticing or caring.

"I'm sorry Roxas, I…"

He said with a broken shaking voice. Bleeding hand was now clenching his own forehead, fingers digging into the black hair, digging into the scalp forcefully, the strong smell of blood stimulating his every nerve ending.

"I'm…very sorry, I just…I…"

His other hand suddenly grasped his left chest hard, nails digging into the flesh, back arching. Sora threw himself on his knees as they lost all force to support himself. The heavy thump in his chest was resonating with the agony of being rejected, crashing him, smashing him, that he could no longer hold the pain anymore.

Roxas had never seen Sora being so hurt. He had never seen such desperation in that pair of cerulean eyes. All made him feel confusing, guilty, and…regretting. But he wasn't able to think much as he was soon stunned by the black aura that suddenly started emitting from Sora's arching body.

"Fuck!" Letting out an angry groan, Sora grasped his head with both hands. His features twisted in pain. His face was stained with blood. Roxas was horrified by the ferocious expression that was now across the once handsome young face.

"Roxas! Get away from me, NOW!"

Sora growled like a desperate injured animal. But his warning only froze Roxas even more. Instinct was telling him to follow Sora's warning, to run away from him immediately, but he just couldn't move his body anymore.

"S-Sora, are you falling into the Darkness?"

The boy in front of him was now completely enveloped by the ominous dark aura. A sudden realization struck Roxas – Sora's black hair, he didn't _dye_ it.

"Run! Just fucking run away! Run, run, run! I can't hold _him_ back any more!"

Over-flowing negativity, flooded emotions, everything falling apart, limit breaking. He was on edge of losing control. But he couldn't. He couldn't lose control in front of Roxas, he just couldn't allow himself to lose control in front of him.

"Why don't you understand? I don't wanna hurt you!"

**I don't want to hurt you!**

A single _red_tear rolled down Sora's face as he shouted in despair.

- _HmphHmphHmphHmph, poor Sora, how pathetic you are. Still want to protect him even after being rejected?  
- You are indeed too kind for your own good._

_- But, my dear Sora__…  
- The game is over now.  
- You. LOST._

"No, Vanitas! NO!"

* * *

It was now too late for him to run away. Roxas was pinned down to the floor before he even realized. Both wrists being pinned above his head, white shirt being ripped off from his body, Roxas couldn't understand how this was happening, why this was happening. Sapphiric eyes widened in horror, looking at the black-haired boy hovering on top of him in disbelief. He saw nothing but **emptiness** in that pair of melt golden eyes, so empty that it almost felt unreal. But the stings from his back, the prickling pain caused by the broken glass under his back reminded him that this was all happening for real.

"Stop Sora, let go!"

He tried to struggle, feeling angered and embarrassed. But no matter how hard he writhed, the body above him pressed against him firmly, imprisoning him and wouldn't let him go free. Fear started magnifying as he struggled in vain. The fear of unknown frightened him to no end. _What_ was he doing to him?

When his lips were sealed by another pair of tanned lips, Roxas' mind went blank. His shirt was completely torn open, exposing the pale skin of his chest. When the other boy's bare muscular chest pressed against his own, he almost jumped. The electric thrill caused by the skin-to-skin contact petrified him. He panicked at how good it felt as the other's lips moving against his own lips. But his mind was yelling at him that he shouldn't feel this way. The kiss was forced. He shouldn't feel good over something that was forced upon him. He should resist, so he did. He tried to shake his head side to side, trying to not let the other's lips touch him, trying to avoid the raven boy's kiss. But no matter how hard he tried, the other always managed to capture him between his lips. And his resistance only angered the black-haired teen.

He kissed him harder, turning the kiss into a more brutal and fierce one. He bit on his lower lip mercilessly, causing his lips parted in attempt to yell in pain. And he took the chance, tongue pushing straight into the blond boy's cavern immediately.

Roxas was beyond shocked when he felt his tongue was being stroked by the hot and wet thing that invaded his mouth. He realized it was Sora's tongue. A sick feeling started boiling in his stomach, the realization made him want to puke. He wanted to break away, but he couldn't bite the invader as his jaw was held still by the other. So he used his own tongue attempting to fight against the muscle that was wiping every corner of his cavern. But soon he realized his action only satisfied the other as the fighting ended up to be more like an erotic tongue-dancing as the muscles swirling around each other, like he was kissing him back.

Roxas felt his cheeks were burning, all flushed, either from the shame or from lack of oxygen, that he didn't know. Sora kept stirring in his mouth, taking away his every breath, forcing his tongue to dance with his. It was electrical, unbelievably intense. Roxas couldn't help but shut his eyes close, which only intensified the electric feeling created by the tongue-to-tongue contact. He shivered at the sensual feeling. He couldn't allow himself to enjoy this, but everything was so novel to him that he didn't know what else he could do. The feeling was just too overwhelming and suffocating that intoxicated his mind. He had never felt so violated, so exposed, so helplessly vulnerable.

Sora was tasting every corner of his mouth, devouring him. And he could taste Sora's saliva as well. He even noticed that the taste of Sora's spit changed over the prolonged kiss, it changed as the kiss getting more and more passionate, violent and fierce. All he could felt now was Sora's touch, Sora's taste, Sora's smell. All of his perceptions were taken over by Sora. Roxas felt he couldn't breath anymore, couldn't even swallow. Unswallowed excess saliva finally started spilling over from the corner of his mouth. He wanted to breathe. He needed oxygen. He squirmed helplessly underneath Sora, trying to make protesting noises which only turned into strangled moans.

Just when Roxas thought he would stop breathing, Sora finally released him. Before he could say anything through the heave panting, a feeling of fear soon replaced the disgusting feeling in his stomach as he found Sora was looking at him in such an animalistic way that as if he was his prey.

The sadistic smirk curling up around the corner of black-haired teen's lips completely froze him. Roxas realized he really was going to be harmed, terribly harmed. The vicious intension of harming him was so clearly written in that pair of crazy gold, and what scared him all the more was that the black-haired teen wasn't even trying to hide his intension a single bit.

Straddling the blond boy, the black-haired Sora let go of the blond's wrists, moving both his hands to circle around Roxas' delicate pale neck.

"Give back _my_ heart."

He whispered mysterious words into the blond boy's ears. Roxas' sapphiric eyes widened in fear. Force was being applied around his neck, grip gradually tightening. He was strangling him.

Roxas struggled again for his life, his hands desperately trying to pry the fingers off his neck. Blue eyes soon filled up with tears as he was being choked. He could feel his consciousness and life was swiftly slipping away from his body. If he was going to die, he wanted at least to ask why. Why, Sora?

But he didn't die. Sora released him again at the last moment. Cold fresh air rushed back into his windpipes, causing him to cough uncontrollably.

"Ahahahahahahahahahahah!"

Watching as the blond coughing pathetically, the black-haired teen laughed out loud happily, as if he so enjoyed watching the blond teen suffer. The twisted spastic crazy laughter echoed around the whole house, making Roxas' blood running cold.

"I'm going to **fuck** you hard."

The black-haired boy hunched over Roxas' frame again, lips close to the blond's ear, claiming his next plan with the blond as he whispered the cruel words one by one.

Roxas' body started shaking uncontrollably at the claim. Overwhelming fear struck him like brick. Lips being sealed again as he kissed him hard, Roxas felt a cold hand roaming all over his exposed body while the other hand went down to undo his pants.

He was going to be _raped_, raped by the one who was supposed to be the closest person to him in this universe.

"No, Sora! Please No!"

He screamed in terror. He used all the power he could forge to fight against the vicious deed the black-haired teen was forcing upon him, but this black-haired Sora was simply too strong, too powerful. The other used his whole body to restrain him. The more he struggled, the more happily he grinned. His power was no match to this sadistic monster.

His dignity was being torn apart. His mind was clouded by chaotic confusion, fear, shame, and despair. He even begged him, begging him to stop. He couldn't care more that the broken glass was cutting his body and arms as he struggling, the physical pain was nothing compared to what's hurting his heart.

He didn't understand. Why would Sora do such terrible things to him against his will? Why did it have to turn out to be like this for them?

The tears that he had been holding so long finally fell down his cheeks as he shut his eyes close in despair.

"Please Sora, please stop…"

All of sudden, the pressure was gone. The restrain on his wrists, the pressure over his body, everything was gone. The blond boy who almost gave up already slowly re-opened his eyes, only found a pair of gentle cerulean eyes gazing at him, full of sorrow and pain. The dark aura around the boy's body was turning disorderly and seemingly fading away.

"I'm sorry Roxas. It's all my fault. I'm being too weak."

The blue-eyed raven boy smiled at him bitterly. His trembling voice sounded so far away from him. He got off from his body, right hand reaching out. Soon, strings of silver light wrapped around his palm and materialized into a giant key that appeared in his right hand.

"But I will not allow myself to hurt you again, never, ever."

Looking determined, the raven teen lifted and turned around the keyblade, pointing it towards his own heart. A golden ball of light started forming around the tip of the keyblade.

As if he vaguely realized what the other boy was trying to do, Roxas felt his heart clenched by a sudden pain of fear, a different type of fear, a fear of losing something dear to him.

"No, Sora, you don't…"

The said boy only flashed him a toothful grin, a bright grin he'd been long missing. Sora closed his blue eyes as a beam of light shooting from the keyblade penetrated his chest.

The dark aura that was surrounding Sora's body instantly turned into strings of dazzling silver light along with the dematerializing keyblade. Sora slowly fell onto the ground as his body being wrapped in bright light.

- _Yes Vanitas, I lost. But you didn't win either.  
- As long as he's unhurt, I'm willingly to pay any price. I'll protect him at any cost._

I'm sorry Roxas. I've been a fool all along. I said I want to protect you. Even though I can't be the one who bring back happiness to you, I still wished that I could at least keep you away from any harm. But after all, I AM the one who's always hurting you. I AM the one who has hurt you the most.

Maybe this is the best ending for both of us. From now on, you won't be hurt by me anymore.

Please, forgive me.

* * *

TBC


End file.
